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Share your stories about guys who got fired

We have a Mexican guy who brings in homemade tamales every year for his birthday. This one kid came in so stoned one day that he took a tamale over to the time clock, put it in the little basket that we put our time cards in at the end of the week, hit a button on the time clock and stood there for a solid two or three minutes staring at the wall. He thought he was standing at the microwave.

Picture for reference

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We have a Mexican guy who brings in homemade tamales every year for his birthday. This one kid came in so stoned one day that he took a tamale over to the time clock, put it in the little basket that we put our time cards in at the end of the week, hit a button on the time clock and stood there for a solid two or three minutes staring at the wall. He thought he was standing at the microwave.

Picture for reference

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Did he drop a suggestion that the microwave needed replacing?
 
In recent memory one of the oh shit firings I can remember was in a shop I worked at we had this large Irish gentleman who happened to be gay. Super guy and great machinst. Now only a few of us knew about his sexual orientation. He didn't flaunt his lifestyle or anything. Just came to work and made parts for us. We had another guy that worked second shift that was an absolute asshat. Mouthy, never his fault, management was idiots( I was management) all the usual toxic BS . Well he was already on his last leg and was 1 write up away from being terminated for his mouth when he called one of my other machinist the N word. Before I could grab him and drag him to the office I hear the large irish gentleman say " M....F....... my boyfriend is black", I look up and he is coming with murder in his eyes. I rushed to dude down the hall and shoved him into a closet and told him to lock it while I tried to diffuse the situation. I managed to get big guy to calm down when I told him that that was it we had a zero tolerance for racist garbage like that . The asshat was immediately fired with no chance of rehire and I didn't have to clean up any blood. Part of me wanted to let the asshat get his butt whooped, but then I would have had to fire a really good machinist because of a POS.
No firing but funny story.
Crusty old fart in the shop would sidle up to the new hire and whisper" we got a queer working here." New hire would look around and usually ask "who". Old fart's answer, " kiss me and I'll tell you."

One new guy we watched unload 3 rollarounds from his truck and wheel them into the shop. Ol' Hart hit him up with his bit. The new guy rolled his boxes back out, loaded them up and drove off without saying a word..

Another new guy got the same bit. As Hart was doing it one of the other guys in the shop yelled "leave him alone, that's my boyfriend".
 
Night shift is where the weirdos usually come out. I usually worked a split shift and would help manage the shop toward the end of my day around 8pm. This gave the night foreman time to set up machines and get some other stuff done so it worked well for both of us. Anyway, there was this stout little white guy who wore coke-bottle glasses, always stank like BO, and dressed like he just barely escaped out of his mother's basement circa 1987. A real top-notch act really.

I typically spent as little time helping him as possible because his BO made me retch. I gave him shit about it, too but he would just giggle like he was being tickled. Fucking weird. As I round the corner to the row of machines that him and a cool mexican dude about the same height as the creep usually worked at, I was greeted with the image of the two men getting up in each other's faces. I separated them and asked them what was going on. Apparently the mexican dude took a liking to my giving the creep shit about his BO and had been teasing him and telling him to shower for the last week.

Oh man, now I knew I was gonna get shit if this got out, so to cover my ass and fix the problem, I basically just agreed with the dude that the creep did need a shower and that I would let him go home to wash up to take a break and solve the issue. This time the creep finally agreed but he just nodded and didn't say shit. So as he walked to his car, I followed him. As we walked he kept muttering nonsense I couldn't hear. I asked if he was OK and he would visibly shrug, it was like a cat getting hissy the way his neck would elongate tightly and he would say "SURE."

We got to his car and he went to his trunk without saying a word. I kept close but behind him to see what he was doing. What was he doing? Well he apparently had taken an offcut of 1/8" aluminum plate from our laser cutter and fashioned it into a fucking sword. He grabbed it in his hands and tried to run back toward the shop. I was shocked he didn't just stab me but who knows what was going through this guy's head. I grabbed his arm and his mouth frothed spit as he hissed at me trying to wrench away from my grip. I wasn't much bigger than this guy but at least I was focused so I was able to get him to drop the sword by screaming in his face that this wasn't going to work.

The yelling drew others from inside to see what was going on, and the foreman and another machinist came to help me get the guy under control and convince him to just go home. Long story short, he got fired. He was lucky the cops weren't called.
 
No firing but funny story.
Crusty old fart in the shop would sidle up to the new hire and whisper" we got a queer working here." New hire would look around and usually ask "who". Old fart's answer, " kiss me and I'll tell you."

One new guy we watched unload 3 rollarounds from his truck and wheel them into the shop. Ol' Hart hit him up with his bit. The new guy rolled his boxes back out, loaded them up and drove off without saying a word..

Another new guy got the same bit. As Hart was doing it one of the other guys in the shop yelled "leave him alone, that's my boyfriend".
I was working night shift for Danaher Tool Group and we had a Header operator named Carl. Now Carl was a nut. Fun guy loved to bs and talk shit. Well one night the cleaning crew supervisor Cindy, came out with a new guy that was joining her crew. Carl looked over at Cindy and gave a little cat call whistle. He then with a straight face said" You looking good too Cindy". Next break Carl found out the guy actually was gay when he sat down beside Carl and asked him his name......We was dying we was laughing so hard. Carl also had a bad habit of calling you over then farting. So one of the ladies made cupcakes and warned the rest of us to not eat the ones with the green paper. They was for Carl. He ate like 3 of them. 30 minutes later we see Carl running through the plant to the bathroom holding his ass. Exlax cupcakes will do that 🤣 🤣
 
No firing but funny story.
This reminds me of something that happened here. Same place as the guy I mentioned with the tamale.

New kid started and the foreman is doing the shop walkthrough with him to meet everyone. He gets to one of the high-speed guys and my foreman says "watch out for this one, he'll kiss ya" and, without missing a beat, Joe (the high-speed guy) reached out and gives this kid a huge bear hug for like five seconds straight. The kid hung around for like an hour and walked right out the door.
 
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I worked in the tool room fat GUD filters and we had a really well stocked material room for breakdowns etc. Every time I went in to cut material for a job the store man’s side kick was cutting brass or bronze. These were like 6 meter lengths of big diameter. Turns out they were putting them in the skip under the stamping scrap. The scrap company would pick up the skip remove them and pay them on weight. Needless to say they got fired.
 
We had a new hire who bought out about 20 grand worth of new tools and tooling from the crib within his first two weeks. Crib guys didn't care, they just did their job and filled his reqs. One of the maintenance bosses caught wind of it, probably from one of our guys dropping a dime on him. He was on a different shift and I was told he liked to disappear or stand around watching others do the work without offering to help. That was probably the main reason for the dime drop. Tools and tooling went back to the crib and the new guy went out the door for good. Amazed at all the guys over the years that I've seen piss away a great job for one reason or another.

Had another guy get caught chucking up and parting off dry cell batteries. He got suspended, only because he'd been there a few years.
 
They hired a guy to take over running a CNC lathe from me. I was moving to QC.

He didn't get fired when he conducted a 3 minute screaming match on the floor over the phone with his girl.

He didn't get fired when he ignored a note on the setup sheet, same note at top of program, M00 with the same note in the program before toolpath run and verbally iterated by me the day before. Thought I had idiot proofed it. He sent a VBMT into 17-4 H900 with no touch off. The part had tailstock engaged and the tool just dove in Z. Would've chopped the part in half if the insert didn't explode and the machine torqued out.

He did finally get fired when a different setup sheet called for a #3 center drill and he loaded and RAN a 1/2 90 deg spot...
 
and...................
Was kind of a generation gap thing, more embarrassing than fireable but since everyone is smacking on gay people ...

Webster was about 2/3 gears and 1/3 sonar transducers, mostly for raytheon. The transducers went from boat-size to ship-size, 18" 316 castings that were fun to machine (not). Anyway, the transducers made the money and we spent it, the whole thing was sort of a hobby shop because web was about as old as most of us here now. He of the optivisor and checkered undies fame. Fifty effing years ago and I still have nightmares ... but there were three Indy cars parked around the shop and the whole back shop was full of Offies and a 2 liter can-am car he ran for a while. Went to Indy 25 times or something, even qualified a few times. There were upsides to working there too.

Anyway, he hired a guy for the transducer end who by coincidence I knew from motorcycles, named Marvin Gardens. Don't know if that was his real name or not, he was from chicago and had a pretty hot and nice girlfriend, who aged out of the bimbo business. She had been one of Giancana's consorts and had a lot of interesting stories. She really liked Sam, as she called him. Probably would have been good for a favor or two but too late now.

Back then SF was totally neutral. Not like now when if someone says, "My, what a nice shirt !" the recipient goes screaming to HR about being harrassed or dissed or whatever. Back then everybody gave everybody else shit and no one cared and it was actually pretty relaxed and cool.

But there was a generation gap thing, and a language gap ...

One day web was doing some tests on a big 'ducer that wasn't working right and had marvin there to help. Old guys always have to have someone nearby to hand them wrenches and stuff, it's one of the perks of being the boss. And cranky. If you can't be a doctor you can still say, "Hand me that 7/16s, wouldja ? No, not the half, I said 7/16ths ..."

So something was wrong, web's muttering to himself, "Musta got into a harmonic" - any time anything went wrong it musta got into a harmonic - and he tells marvin to "go get him the dikes." I guess marvin was not used to the term, since he came from a field where if you needed to cut some wires you used a thompson, and we did have two gay girls working in assembly. So marvin went and got them.

When they all arrived web says, "I told you to get me the dikes, not Gail and Tina !" of course they figured it out instantly, marvin goes red as a beet, web never did figure it out, and I think the diagonal cutters did finally arrive. And marvin was scared to go into that half of the shop for the next two weeks. As pissed as they were, they might even have taken on Friendly Sam.

Not as good as the other gay-fearing stories but oh well ....
 
Was kind of a generation gap thing, more embarrassing than fireable but since everyone is smacking on gay people ...

Webster was about 2/3 gears and 1/3 sonar transducers, mostly for raytheon. The transducers went from boat-size to ship-size, 18" 316 castings that were fun to machine (not). Anyway, the transducers made the money and we spent it, the whole thing was sort of a hobby shop because web was about as old as most of us here now. He of the optivisor and checkered undies fame. Fifty effing years ago and I still have nightmares ... but there were three Indy cars parked around the shop and the whole back shop was full of Offies and a 2 liter can-am car he ran for a while. Went to Indy 25 times or something, even qualified a few times. There were upsides to working there too.

Anyway, he hired a guy for the transducer end who by coincidence I knew from motorcycles, named Marvin Gardens. Don't know if that was his real name or not, he was from chicago and had a pretty hot and nice girlfriend, who aged out of the bimbo business. She had been one of Giancana's consorts and had a lot of interesting stories. She really liked Sam, as she called him. Probably would have been good for a favor or two but too late now.

Back then SF was totally neutral. Not like now when if someone says, "My, what a nice shirt !" the recipient goes screaming to HR about being harrassed or dissed or whatever. Back then everybody gave everybody else shit and no one cared and it was actually pretty relaxed and cool.

But there was a generation gap thing, and a language gap ...

One day web was doing some tests on a big 'ducer that wasn't working right and had marvin there to help. Old guys always have to have someone nearby to hand them wrenches and stuff, it's one of the perks of being the boss. And cranky. If you can't be a doctor you can still say, "Hand me that 7/16s, wouldja ? No, not the half, I said 7/16ths ..."

So something was wrong, web's muttering to himself, "Musta got into a harmonic" - any time anything went wrong it musta got into a harmonic - and he tells marvin to "go get him the dikes." I guess marvin was not used to the term, since he came from a field where if you needed to cut some wires you used a thompson, and we did have two gay girls working in assembly. So marvin went and got them.

When they all arrived web says, "I told you to get me the dikes, not Gail and Tina !" of course they figured it out instantly, marvin goes red as a beet, web never did figure it out, and I think the diagonal cutters did finally arrive. And marvin was scared to go into that half of the shop for the next two weeks. As pissed as they were, they might even have taken on Friendly Sam.

Not as good as the other gay-fearing stories but oh well ....
I don't know that is pretty dang good. My cousin who is actually gay tells gay jokes and it freaks people out. He thinks it is hilarious.
 
AT the railroad I worked at, they go through junior "managers" like I go through socks.
The particular depot/yard I worked at is not a desirable place for them... they get forced to come work here, so they're always looking to transfer.... usually hoping to go back to where they lived in the first place, as anyone else would.

Well, one day this manager comes in our office and says "well, you guys are going to have to learn to live without me, I'm going to work for (a competitor railroad).
We all say congratulations, when are you leaving?

He responds with "Oh, I gave the company a 2 week notice. I'm going to do the right thing and stick around to train my replacement."

The guy in charge of my switch engine crew was a long time employee, ready to retire... and for years was the trainmens Union local chairman.

Having been around the block a few times, the first thing out of his mouth was... "Oh, shit...you fucked up there... they're not going to let you stay, they'll fire your ass and run you off."

Manager says "oh, bullshit... they wouldn't do that. I'm leaving on good terms".

We all told him that "no, you see how this corporation treats people... they're always looking for reasons to fire employees... you know that, you're a frickin' manager."

So, we get dressed to go outside and go to work. It was about 9:15 in the morning.

About 10:30, I glance up towards the depot from the locomotive and I spot a different company officers' vehicle, and a railroad policeman SUV.
From my vantage point in the engine, I can see right in the depot office window, into our managers office. The manager and the 2 others are standing in there having an animated conversation.... 10 minutes later, he's out in the parking lot with his coat and hat and his backpack... fired. Jumped in his personal vehicle and was off the property.

This company doesn't trust anybody. We find out from the manager that came over to "relieve him", as soon as he told the company he was leaving... they immediately disable his ability to access the company computer system (they're afraid you're going to sabotage something), shut off his company credit card, revoke the company corporate lodging card... everything...and then send some other manager to escort them off the property so they can't claim they injured themselves and try to sue.

It's pathetic.

But, the union man was right... don't do them any favors... wait til the last minute to tell them you're quitting. They don't have any loyalty for you... don't have loyalty to them.
 
We had a big, tall and straight millwright that liked to rattle the new hires while standing next to them at the urinals. He would lean over while looking down and say "Nice Dick". Some would still be dribbling down their leg as they tore out of the restroom.
 
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