The Art of Avoiding Work

[garyhlucas]

This is in the back of a [new?] publication from Endeavor Media that came in with New Equipment Digest (I think).

It hurts me to give any amount of credence to Endeavor as I would love to hear that their entire spamming network had gotten ran into by an electric car and burnt up in a never ending fire, but I did find this writ clever.

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2. CAPTAIN UNRELIABILITY

The art of avoiding work​

March 7, 2024
So you think you’re a good procrastinator? Captain Unreliability says hold my channel locks.
Captain Unreliability

• https://www.plantservices.com/print/content/33038056
• https://www.practicalmachinist.com/forum/javascript:void(0)
• https://www.practicalmachinist.com/forum/javascript:void(0)
• https://www.practicalmachinist.com/forum/javascript:void(0)
• https://www.practicalmachinist.com/forum/javascript:void(0)

In the fast-paced world of business, there's one skill that sets the true professionals apart from the rest: the ability to avoid doing actual work at all costs.
While some may think that productivity and efficiency are key, true masters of the corporate world know that the real secret to success lies in the art of procrastination. So, if you're ready to take your career to the next level, here are some expert tips on how to do everything but the work required within organizations.
1. Endless Meetings. The cornerstone of corporate procrastination! Meetings are the perfect way to waste time without actually accomplishing anything. Schedule meetings for every minor decision, invite as many people as possible, and make sure to spend the majority of the time discussing irrelevant topics. Bonus points if you can schedule back-to-back meetings, ensuring that no actual work gets done.
2. Email Overload. Another essential tool in the procrastinator's arsenal, email is the perfect way to appear busy while actually accomplishing very little. Spend hours crafting long, detailed emails about minor issues, and make sure to copy everyone in the organization. Bonus points for sending emails at odd hours, ensuring that your colleagues are constantly on edge.
3. Pointless Reports. Nothing says "I'm busy" like a long, detailed report. Spend hours compiling data, creating graphs, and analyzing trends, all while avoiding any actual work. Bonus points if you can make the report so complex that no one actually understands it, ensuring that you'll be asked to present it multiple times.
4. Office Politics. Engaging in office politics is a great way to avoid doing actual work while appearing to be productive. Spend hours gossiping with colleagues, forming alliances, and maneuvering for power, all while avoiding any real responsibilities. Bonus points if you can create enough drama to distract the entire office.
5. Endless Training. Corporate training sessions are a great way to avoid doing real work while still appearing to be productive. Sign up for every training session offered, regardless of relevance or necessity, and spend hours sitting through mind-numbing presentations. Bonus points if you can convince your boss that you need to attend a conference in Hawaii for "professional development."
6. Busy Work. When all else fails, busy work is the perfect way to avoid doing actual work while still appearing to be busy. Spend hours reorganizing your desk, color-coding your inbox, or alphabetizing your file cabinets, all while avoiding any real tasks. Bonus points if you can convince your boss that these tasks are essential to your job.
In conclusion, the key to success in the corporate world is not hard work or dedication, but rather the ability to avoid doing actual work at all costs. By mastering the art of procrastination and focusing on everything but the work required, you too can rise to the top of the corporate ladder. So, here's to a successful career filled with endless meetings, pointless reports, and endless training sessions.


Link here @ https://www.plantservices.com/blogs/captain-unreliability/article/33038056/the-art-of-avoiding-work


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I am Ox and I approve this here post!

My brother-in-law was an electrical contractor forced to go union. He called it “Hide and go seek, for 2.5k a week”. His son went through the apprenticeship training and said it was mostly union indoctrination and how to look busy while making the job last.

 

[William Payne]

then you have the other end of the spectrum of countries where it is culturally shameful to not work crazy crazy hours.

Like most things the middle continues to be the appropriate balance.

 

[mjk]

I read first paragraphs to my wife as she works in an environment that fits so many of her coworkers.......in a 15 person privately owned "place"
This fits so many of the people who have no real interest in putting in a good days work.
She would probably retire but now it's personal (them or her) and she has an old school work ethic
But she was crying tears of laughter as I read
Thanks for posting. Ox
Think snow

 

[Bill D]

Not exactly relevant but i remember seeing an ancient Egyptian temple at a museum in Chicago. It had stone benches facing each other across the sidewalk leading to the front door. Those hard stone benches had shallow spots worn into them by ancient people wasting time outside.
They probably went home and told the boss they went to the temple and prayed really hard. In fact they sat around and gosspied/drank whatever rather than going in and praying about finding a new method to get that pyramid built.
Bill D

 

[William Payne]

Not exactly relevant but i remember seeing an ancient Egyptian temple at a museum in Chicago. It had stone benches facing each other across the sidewalk leading to the front door. Those hard stone benches had shallow spots worn into them by ancient people wasting time outside.
They probably went home and told the boss they went to the temple and prayed really hard. In fact they sat around and gosspied/drank whatever rather than going in and praying about finding a new method to get that pyramid built.
Bill D

To be fair we don’t fully know how “jobs” worked in ancient societies.

 

[e30ryan]

In the late 1940s, my dad worked every summer to pay for college. In those days you could walk into the Gary Indiana plant of US Steel, and be working the next day.
First day on the job, the old timers came up to him and explained how to Avoid Work, which, they told him, was not a choice, as, if he made the rest of them look bad, he would get beat up AND fired.
So they showed him where in the gigantic mill to hide, which times and places to make token appearances, and how to go along to get along. He didnt mind- he read a few books a week, and sitting behind a giant pile of rolls of steel, reading, while getting paid, was just fine with him.
40,000 employees worked at that steel mill in those days.
He had similar stories about the season he spent installing seats in Studebakers on the production line.
Avoiding work is a tradition that goes back thousands of years.
When America was Great the first time, they had a system. Now, you have to google it and do it on your own.

And yet people wonder why companies such as the "big 3" have fallen so much, and most of the North American manufacturing has moved offshore... These "other" people working for much less wage and producing much more product. Makes much more business-sense.

America: "God bless us under-worked, we deserve it."

 

[john.k]

Other side of the coin........management are usually aware of time fillers ,and when staff numbers are ordered reduced by the board ,then these people go en masse.................On the news today "Telco to shed 2800 jobs ".........whole sections of time wasters cut when economics require some action.

 

[???]

Do we apply this equally. A look in the mirror.
I push my people hard on production and downtime.
Should not the same apply to me? Do you track that on yourself?

Exactly why I am no longer spending time on PM. I may check in every now and then but in all honesty it's a time sink that I can't afford.

 

[Donkey Hotey]

Exactly why I am no longer spending time on PM. I may check in every now and then but in all honesty it's a time sink that I can't afford.

I consider this place to be the coworkers I don't have. The range of questions and answers that flow through here is beyond what any single business would encounter. I even read repair threads to machines I don't own. Never know what the future might bring and what I might encounter. Where else will I learn it?

 

[john.k]

The new CEO of Boeing is to get $30 million a year.............wonder how many nuts and bolts he will have to do up to earn that?

 

[Ox]

Prolly just doo-up Rosey in stead.


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I am Ox and I approve this here post!

 

[Freedommachine]

I've spent the last 7.5 hours sitting here waiting for someone to find and bring me a fixture. I'm not avoiding work, it's avoiding me!

 

[Bill D]

To be fair we don’t fully know how “jobs” worked in ancient societies.

I have read that the pyramids were just a welfare program built during the winter season to keep the farmers busy while the Nile flooded and no field work could be done. Some of the pay was in onions and beer. They soon ran out of money and stopped building pyramids within like 100 years or less.
One of the reasons was the locals went into the tomb raiding business. Selling the loot to decorate juniors pyramid.
The Taj Mahal is only half built. It is white marble. there was supposed to be a black marble copy built next door for the kings wives. His son decided to bury his mom with his dad and spend the money himself
Bill D

 

[DrHook]

I'm going to guess that the person who wrote that was a big Dilbert fan.

My last job was a series of daily occurrences which made some of us believe Dilbert comics were written by someone with little imagination, as the shit we were put through made Dilbert ridiculousness pale in comparison...

 

[mjk]

I miss Dilbert
I was....am Dilbert

Somewhere I have a remnant of a Dilbert comic where he programmed his pointy headed bosses desk phone to call his bosses cell phone creating a loop of stupidity for his boss.
Then there's Wally....who was the epidemy of this post

 

[jhov]

People often say that trickle down economics doesn't actually happen, but you can observe it at work here. The Federal Reserve (though not federal and holds no reserves) creates money out of thin air to be paid back with interest. So in other words, they create nothing of value and expect to be paid for it. The largest financial institutions create even more money through loans and swap paper asset derivatives on the market without exchanging any real goods to make money. So in other words, they create nothing of value and expect to be paid for it. I could go on and on. Our culture has shifted from the top down to incentivize creating nothing of value for money. Trickle down economics at work, or more accurately, avoiding working.

 

[Ries]

what a wonderful mindset...
and then people complain why they make shit money.

These days that same mill has less than 10% of the employees and makes around double the tonnage. And Nucor still outsells them and makes more profits.

 

[machinistrrt]

Western productivity is at an all time low while the paper pushers at the top, have more assistants then ever and more meeting sthen ever accomplishing nothing...taking bonuses.

I think we'd all be scared to death if we ever found out how talented (not) the paper pushers really are.
The only time things get done on the floor is when the bosses are at meetings. Otherwise you have to follow rules that generate much paper but few parts.

 

[machinistrrt]

People often say that trickle down economics doesn't actually happen,

Sure, the wealthy thought the trickles were leaks, and plugged them.

 

[604Pook]

Why make anything when I can film my daily life and post it on YouTube and just do the most stupidest of stunts or staged events and make $

Better yet use AI and just have it create content