technocrat
Stainless
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2009
- Location
- Oz
having the paperwork in order and list of what the good stuff is and where it should go is the least you can do . . .
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OT: aging and decluttering
- Thread starter Forrest Addy
- Start date
- Replies 101
- Views 6,805
EmGo
Diamond
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
生日快乐, Forrest !
Okay, enough of that soft and cuddly stuff, let's get real ... those revocable trust things ? They are cool, way better than a will but ... every single one I know that has had a family member as the trustee ? It's been a disaster. It seems that normal, decent, ethical people when faced with a crummy ten grand become slimy little crooks. Everyone says, "No way, not my Johnny !" but then it happens and yes way, yup your Johnny. Or Lisa or whatever, girls are just as bad as guys. Maybe worse.
For a little bit of money, having an outside, disinterested party be trustee is way way better. Remove the temptation and the ethical, considerate, honest family members can stay that way.
Bill D
Diamond
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2004
- Location
- Modesto, CA USA
When my grandfather died there was a file holder hanging on the inside of his bedroom door. It had important papers, will, funeral instructions, etc. Just before he was placed in his coffin his niece remembered he always wore an undershirt. So she rushed one to the funeral home before it was too late.
I do know many women specify the dress and purse to be buried in, hair style etc.
BilL D
I do know many women specify the dress and purse to be buried in, hair style etc.
BilL D
I knew a guy down the street, a very nice German guy whose wife had died about 10 years earlier. When he finally died, too, his kids - all grown adults in their 50's with their own families - descended on his place and began picking through his stuff with the greatest sense of entitlement.
But the big insult was that he had left all of his money, and the house, to his church. The kids were livid, and did all the usual grumbling about how organized religion was evil and had conned the old man out of their inheritance. One day I pointed out to the daughter that the church had been a constant in her father's life, and became his only real form of community/socialization after his wife had died. This was sort of couched in the idea that none of his kids ever took time to check in on him, even though they all lived within an hour's drive. And so, I further pointed out, his natural-born obligation to bequeath upon them his life's wealth, I felt, was not so evident.
Can you believe she didn't see things my way?
But the big insult was that he had left all of his money, and the house, to his church. The kids were livid, and did all the usual grumbling about how organized religion was evil and had conned the old man out of their inheritance. One day I pointed out to the daughter that the church had been a constant in her father's life, and became his only real form of community/socialization after his wife had died. This was sort of couched in the idea that none of his kids ever took time to check in on him, even though they all lived within an hour's drive. And so, I further pointed out, his natural-born obligation to bequeath upon them his life's wealth, I felt, was not so evident.
Can you believe she didn't see things my way?
jim rozen
Diamond
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2004
- Location
- peekskill, NY
I also suspect he was smat enough to put his wishes in place via his will, another reason she was frustrated. Cookie: crumbles.
stephen thomas
Diamond
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2001
It would be cool to do something like Jame's Smithson's will.
But i don't have any money.
Maybe something more like the Mercer Museum, where we could all will our hoards....
It worked for him!
But i don't have any money.
Maybe something more like the Mercer Museum, where we could all will our hoards....
It worked for him!
rogertoolmaker
Cast Iron
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2016
I'm 90 and in the same boat. Been teaching the one grandson to run the Lathe. He's the only one in the family that has the mechanical aptitude and a passion for learning new things. The rest of them haven't got a clue. It's tough to let go of tools you made a living with all your working life. It's been great!
Roger
Roger
guythatbrews
Titanium
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2017
- Location
- MO, USA
I've got a ways to go yet (I hope), but I've thought about this too. Every time I use one of my dad's tools it's a trip down memory lane, and a smile too.
Where will his old tools, and my tools, go? Not sure. My son will keep a few, but he'll never use 'em. The machines I'll sell, and if I'm gone my wife knows who to contact for help.
Where will his old tools, and my tools, go? Not sure. My son will keep a few, but he'll never use 'em. The machines I'll sell, and if I'm gone my wife knows who to contact for help.
ratbldr427
Titanium
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2006
- Location
- jacksonville,fl.
I'll be 79 this Dec. Still working,no pressure from the co. to retire but I've told them I've got one foot on a banana peal and the other on a fast freight. Just don't know when. Still able to more than carry my own weight and decided long ago that as soon as I couldn't I'd retire on my own terms. Been looking for a home in central Fl. where I grew up and sister & brothers still live. The only hold up is I want a 3bed 2 bath with around a 30x30 garage. I've found a few and just about jumped but am beginning to wonder if I will ever really use all my stuff in retirement. I surely don't want to do any kind of business , just piddle around. Got an old chopped top Camaro needs finishing.
Just so used to working and problem solving and the job is as good as it gets. I'd thought about it at 65; crap that was almost 14 years ago! That went fast.
One of the guys I work with ,his dad just passed. He was a T&D maker and had been working part, time semi retired until he had a stroke. Then lasted a year. Don't know if I want hold out that long.
Just so used to working and problem solving and the job is as good as it gets. I'd thought about it at 65; crap that was almost 14 years ago! That went fast.
One of the guys I work with ,his dad just passed. He was a T&D maker and had been working part, time semi retired until he had a stroke. Then lasted a year. Don't know if I want hold out that long.
technocrat
Stainless
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2009
- Location
- Oz
I have a steel rabone scale with a railway engine etched onto the back, named and dated 1911. There are not many square corners on it and a couple of marks from being caught up in something rotating. It came from one of my fathers mentors, who helped me when i was younger. I keep that one on my desk for inspiration.
richard newman
Titanium
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2006
- Location
- rochester, ny
Happy belated birthday wishes Forrest! When I first started hanging out on this site, your posts stood out to me, lots of knowledge and experience, but much more than just that. Have missed you, good to hear from you again.
I'm 77, and right in the middle of moving and downsizing my wood/metal shop. The peril of renting over owning! I gave some thought to just calling in an auctioneer and spending the rest of my time hanging out with the dog, playing music, and puttering around the house. But I still enjoy making stuff, it's who I really am, so move it is. But in downsizing I'm having a terrible time figuring out what to take with me. "I might need it someday" no longer seems a justification for moving all this stuff yet again. But there's the emotional attachments, especially some of the wood, which is irreplaceable, valuable and often has an interesting backstory. Been a rough ride!
Organizing our stuff for our heirs is really good practice. My dad did just that - a trust (I was the executor), a notebook with all his and my mom's important info, documents in a file. He had been an educator and lived in an apartment, so luckily there wasn't a huge amount of stuff, was very easy for me
Considering the demographics of this forum, this discussion is very timely. Many of us are not going to be happy just fishing, playing golf and drinking with cronies. A lot of people get into building stuff when they retire from all sorts of jobs, just what we've done our entire lives. I have no desire to play at being a lawyer, accountant, doctor, executive, etc. Just want to continue creating stuff, but without the aggravation of running a business!
I'm 77, and right in the middle of moving and downsizing my wood/metal shop. The peril of renting over owning! I gave some thought to just calling in an auctioneer and spending the rest of my time hanging out with the dog, playing music, and puttering around the house. But I still enjoy making stuff, it's who I really am, so move it is. But in downsizing I'm having a terrible time figuring out what to take with me. "I might need it someday" no longer seems a justification for moving all this stuff yet again. But there's the emotional attachments, especially some of the wood, which is irreplaceable, valuable and often has an interesting backstory. Been a rough ride!
Organizing our stuff for our heirs is really good practice. My dad did just that - a trust (I was the executor), a notebook with all his and my mom's important info, documents in a file. He had been an educator and lived in an apartment, so luckily there wasn't a huge amount of stuff, was very easy for me
Considering the demographics of this forum, this discussion is very timely. Many of us are not going to be happy just fishing, playing golf and drinking with cronies. A lot of people get into building stuff when they retire from all sorts of jobs, just what we've done our entire lives. I have no desire to play at being a lawyer, accountant, doctor, executive, etc. Just want to continue creating stuff, but without the aggravation of running a business!
DouglasJRizzo
Titanium
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Location
- Ramsey, NJ.
Quite literally, I will be working into my 80s, so I'll probably die in front of the CAM workstation.
What else have I to do?
What else have I to do?
Well, you're supposed to finally be able to travel! That's right...you can sit in congested airports waiting on delayed flights, stay in nasty hotels around the globe, pay exorbitant prices for food, and suffer all the incoveniences of not being home. That's my dream, anyway.
It strikes me that a persons life is an arc, with the first 2/3 spent building a career, nest egg, accumulating stuff. Then one becomes more reflective for last 1/3. I chose a few years ago to aggressively reduce the clutter, and work very hard at owning just the things that give me joy (Marie Kondo minimalist idea). That's not to say that I don't own a fully equiped shop, but more to say that I am throwing out all the second tier 5C collets I will never use, for example. It can be very difficult to throw out/donate/sell stuff, but I do force myself to do this continuously, and have found that as my table surfaces open up, and I have just what I need and only what I need, that life is much more peaceful and calming and manageable.
Happy Birthday Forrest!.
I'll be 81 next month so I know what you are talking about.
Years ago you contributed to P.M. a procedure for leveling a lathe, I used it on my chinese lathe and I keep a copy in my Word files; good thinking, good writing skills, generous about your knowledge; have you thought about putting in writing, perhaps as a book, your knowledge about machining, metalworking, etc?
I'll be 81 next month so I know what you are talking about.
Years ago you contributed to P.M. a procedure for leveling a lathe, I used it on my chinese lathe and I keep a copy in my Word files; good thinking, good writing skills, generous about your knowledge; have you thought about putting in writing, perhaps as a book, your knowledge about machining, metalworking, etc?
If possible, I try to pass on stuff to others who *do* have a good use for it....kinda makes it a "win-win" for all. Even better if a trade can be arranged!
I have a few friends/acquaintances that seem to be afflicted by collecting/hoarding/whatever you want to call it, and I can state with near certainty that their "stuff" seems NOT to "spark happiness." As near as I can tell it mostly serves to grant them bragging rights when socializing with others similarly afflicted; "I've got one of these, and you don't." Some of these folks seem to then worry about the stuff; it's expensive/valuable/rare, so it's not enough to insure it, it's now got to be locked away safely.
Years ago I somehow (almost) got roped into mediating a dispute between two good friends, after one of them realized that the other hadn't quite acted in good faith in his dealings with the other! Somehow these guys expected me to be sympathetic to *their* point of view. It was quite awkward to have to tell each of them that they alone had made their own deal, and I was not going to play the part of judge! (It was quite hilarious in hindsight: I received angry phone calls from each of these guys, just five minutes apart!). No thanks!
Brett W
Cast Iron
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2014
- Location
- Huntsville AL
This is an interested thread. I have a question for all you "geezers". When do you quit working in your shop and decide its time to clear out? As Forrest mentioned, he doesn't get into the shop like he used to, but when do you judge the time, "Ok, its done", time to settle the accounts and clean out the shop? Do you just stop going in there much, or you start looking at the law of averages when you go into your 70s?
At 46 I don't see myself stopping anytime until I am dead, but the reality is there will be a day when I realize, hopefully, its time to hang up the gloves and clean out the shop.
At 46 I don't see myself stopping anytime until I am dead, but the reality is there will be a day when I realize, hopefully, its time to hang up the gloves and clean out the shop.
technocrat
Stainless
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2009
- Location
- Oz
When the joy and the will to learn more is gone. Some lose it in the 20's, some never have it
I had a retired electrical engineer who lived down the street; he had worked his whole career as a motor designer. When he would see me out, he would stop and open his trunk and tell me he had another load of his old books to give me since he knew I was in the business. There were some actual books, but most were 3-ring binders full of data, design parameters, carbon-copy drawings, coil specs, etc.
Over a year or so he gave me probably 10 trunk loads of these books....he was slowly but surely cleaning out his house.
I would thank him profusely, and I could tell he was glad to be able to give his old stuff to someone who might get some use out of it.
After he'd leave, I'd use a dolly to roll the books in the backyard and put them in the burn barrel.
That sounds harsh, but in reality all of the data was outdated to the point no one could use it. Materials, methods, and design parameters had changed so much....even if you wanted to build a motor like they used to, and you wouldn't, you couldn't find the materials or tools anyway. They were simply valueless.
Over a year or so he gave me probably 10 trunk loads of these books....he was slowly but surely cleaning out his house.
I would thank him profusely, and I could tell he was glad to be able to give his old stuff to someone who might get some use out of it.
After he'd leave, I'd use a dolly to roll the books in the backyard and put them in the burn barrel.
That sounds harsh, but in reality all of the data was outdated to the point no one could use it. Materials, methods, and design parameters had changed so much....even if you wanted to build a motor like they used to, and you wouldn't, you couldn't find the materials or tools anyway. They were simply valueless.
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